"I'm protecting my peace" has become a ubiquitous mantra in online wellness culture. Staying home, feeling elated when cancelling plans, and cutting people off at the first sign of a slightly differing opinion are all narratives that seem to be lauded on social media. And while there is something to be said for guarding your mental energy, a question has started to reverberate in the back of my mind: Are we as a society protecting our peace to the point of social isolation?

This trend undoubtedly stemmed from a healthy place. Setting boundaries and prioritizing mental health are fantastic disciplines to learn. But I posit that this phenomenon may have evolved past the point of practicality and now teeters on something potentially problematic. In a world where disconnectedness continues to proliferate, is this just another well-disguised excuse to avoid life's discomforts?
The last decade or so has seen massive shifts in how we relate to one another. Social media platforms, which exploded in popularity since the oughts, have become increasingly sophisticated—along with their algorithms. These algorithms, designed to maximize engagement, have created echo chambers and rabbit holes that reward black-and-white thinking about everything, including our interpersonal relationships. The pandemic accelerated this even more, normalizing social isolation.
Alongside this technological shift, I've noticed a troubling trend that hasn't received enough air time: the commercialization and oversimplification of therapy concepts. Nuanced psychological frameworks have been flattened into catchy, shareable content and sound bites. Suddenly, normal relationship friction is labeled "toxic" or "gaslighting" in viral short-form videos. A false equivalence is drawn between momentary discomfort and genuine psychological harm. The empowering anthem "you don't owe anyone anything" has morphed into the perfect excuse to cancel plans or avoid social interaction altogether.
This distortion of therapeutic ideas has created a culture where we're encouraged to cut each other off at the first sign of disagreement or misalignment of beliefs. The result? A generation increasingly comfortable with discarding relationships rather than working through the inevitable challenges that come with human connection.
This confluence of technological advances has affected us in multiple dimensions. Physically, we have more screens than ever between us. Conceptually, the digital content we consume on social media platforms drives ideological wedges that separate us further. These developments have led, in my opinion, to broader apathy, an atrophying ability to form deep relationships, and fraying community bonds. While "intolerance" is a hard metric to quantify, it certainly feels like it has been on the rise. From political polarization to guarded demeanors in public spaces to overt judgement of those with divergent values, examples of societal inflexibility and narrow-mindedness abound
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For those of us who grew up steeped in this rhetoric and online culture, the reality may feel counterintuitive: genuine peace comes not from avoiding all friction, but from building resilience through the friction that naturally arises from meaningful connection. Difference and discomfort aren't inherently negative signals—in fact, growth happens at the edges of our comfort zones. Learning to develop tolerance for ambiguity goes a long way in forming deep and substantive relationships. Community requires compromise. Consideration counters cynicism. Learning to live in communion with others can be one of the richest and most rewarding parts of life! It deeply concerns me that this wisdom seems to be fading from our collective consciousness.
Finding personal balance in these matters is key. Establishing your own boundaries is important—you can't be intricately connected to the soul and essence of every person on the planet at once. That would get exhausting quickly (believe me—I've tried). But in a world so quick to judge, and in a digital media landscape where cancellation looms at any moment, learning to embrace the striking differences between us can be such a refreshing approach to life. Perhaps the truest form of "protecting our peace" isn't found in isolation, but in cultivating the adaptability and tolerance to engage meaningfully with others, especially when it challenges us.